Valentine's Special

Hola folks!!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Don’t worry I am not going to bore you with the history behind this day since the news channels are doing that job pretty well already.

As I was humming the song ‘dil diyan gallan’ that was playing on the radio this morning, I pondered on the concept of love.  I got quite philosophical. We have grown up watching movies like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai that preached the idea of one love in a lifetime.  Remember the famous dialogue “Hum ek baar jeete hai, ek baar marte hai, shaadi bhi ek baar hoti hai ... aur pyar ek baar hi hota hai”?

i am back

As I sit I front of my gleaming laptop screen, I am wondering what took me so long to feel this light on my face. If you have read my previous posts you know I have always had excuses (reasons for me though) for being temporarily inactive with my blog posts. I say temporarily because I always come back to writing and I always will.

Moms of Instagram

The title of this post hints a lot about what this post is going to be about. Yes it is going to be about moms; moms of instagram. And no this is no informative post. This one is personal. 

I had already had a few friends who became mothers around the same time as I did and we shared similar stories and experiences often. It didn't really take place over social media but yes a lot over the phone.

Then one day I just stumbled upon a mother’s account on instagram who had been reasonably popular among other mothers.  This mother was an entrepreneur, a blogger and so much more. I followed her account and realised how bizarrely similar every mother’s story is yet so different with its little elements. Though this mother’s kid is a year ahead of adira I could still relate so much with her.

Anyway through her account I discovered so many more mothers all sailing in the same boat, going through the very same complex combination of emotions; emotions of tiredness, happiness, anxiety, excitement all rolled into one. Isn't this all what motherhood is about?

My Mother's Day Gift

Sunday, May 14^th 2017 à My first Mother’s day.

Last year around this time I was hoping that I deliver the sweet little bun baking inside my big oven. It was my own special way of feeling gifted by the almighty. But my daughter had plans of her own. She decided to take her own time and arrived 16 days after.

Foodie Emotions

Unlike most of my food posts which are followed by a recipe this one is an exception. In this one, emotions follow. This post is mainly about how I felt today as I was baking a set of six muffins. I have always confessed that I am a moody baker. By moody I mean a lot of things. Firstly, I am not an everyday baker so I am moody that way. Secondly I should really need to be in a good mood to bake and not bake just for the namesake. Thirdly, I don’t care if it is an occasion if I feel like baking for that occasion I do else I simply buy from outside. 

Life like an Icecream

12th January 2017, 11:45 PM 

After packing each and every return favour in the day, I have now retired to bed all tired, hoping for a sound sleep. But somehow my thoughts are hopping between the confirmed guest list to the decor to the catering and then my own make up. It would be my daughter's first lohri tomorrow and her first celebration since birth and I am so looking forward to it. 

13th January 2017, 7:32 AM

I wake up at the sound of the door opening. I see my mother-in-law standing besides our bed with a face that is telling a sad story. We are informed about the demise of a very close relative and hence the lohri function has to be cancelled. I pick up my cell phone that has been left on snooze; a string of calls follows.

Later in the morning, while dipping a teabag in the cup I just found myself wondering about the course of events that took place in less than a span of 12 hours and the impact it left in our lives. It took me back to a quote we used quite often in school "life is like an ice cream, enjoy before it melts". How true it is, isn't it? One moment you have a cone of the most inviting ice cream swirl in your hand and the next moment the top has wilted and you find your hands all sticky with the cream pearls slowly giving themselves away in the darkness between your palm and cone.

The night before lohri, I was super excited about the celebration and the equation of my feelings just changed the following morning. My heart sank not just because we had to cancel our daughter's very first celebration and not because I had hand packed every return favour myself wanting to make it special but also because the life we lost that morning was very special. May his soul rest in peace.  He will continue to live in our hearts and be remembered in our thoughts. 

I usually get philosophical when such things happen. In general we spend so much time and exert so much energy planning this and that and then suddenly, from nowhere life hurls a mishap in our face leaving us ambushed. Do we stop planning then? I say NO. Because every successful even needs some planning. While we all like adventure a bit of planning does no harm. 

The two contrasting events just helped me realise how short life is and how uncertain. we must make the most of it while it lasts. After all who doesn't like licking the top of that ice cream swirl? 

So be happy. Love, laugh and forgive easily. Enjoy the ice cream before it melts away. Goodnight 

Mothers do you have an answer?

So all this time I have written posts; some generic,  some about relationships and most about food. However, today as I was driving back home while my daughter sat in my help’s lap, amidst all the noise of the traffic and the curry on the road I realised how I have lost patience in general after adorning the jewelled crown of motherhood. I suddenly got lost in my thoughts and it occurred to me how I never spoke of or posted about my dark side ( not that there is much to it and don't pretend you don't have any huh!); my failings or my weaknesses. 

Anyway so here I am sharing my shortcoming. Ideally my  patience level should go a notch higher because supposedly and theoretically   kids teach you the twisted art of keeping calm. I am not denying that I am a very patient mother to  my daughter who is soon going to turn seven months old. I still haven't doddered her like some mothers confess they do at the sight and sound of their wailing babies.

However I get a short circuit too, and recently too often doing general day to day chores. Not that my lack of patience has killed someone. My daughter has not had the brunt of it yet but my dearest younger sister and my mom have surely had a taste of my impatience. With my fuse going off I have yelled at them, ordered them like I own them (in my heart I believe I own these women). Sometimes they obey and the other times they yell back. 

Nevertheless, shutting my thoughts I honked and drove all the way back home. Now as I lay in my bed, my feet tucked in the quilt, the whistling of the mosquitoes in my room remind me again of my increased level of impatience. So I thought I will bounce the question at other mothers; have you experienced a low balance in your patience account after experiencing motherhood. Do you think my losing patience is normal/human or am I the crazy one? 

Let me know. Goodnight.

Hello Mommyhood!

Hi

So like I start most of my posts that come at erratic intervals (SORRY!!!), I start this one too by apologizing for being away for more than three months now (EEEE!!! THREE!!).  I mentioned in my last post (navratan korma;my style) that SOMEONE life changing took place; well that someone is my little daughter who will be turning 4 months towards the end of this month (PHEW! TIME FLIES). Please do not mind my monologue in the brackets.

It is said that life turns upside down once you have a baby and I will say NOW I cannot agree more.  I am writing this as she sleeps peacefully (which is RARE!), and as I am typing these words I am not really sure, rather absolutely clueless where to begin this experience of mommyhood from. Please bear with me if I wander a bit here and there.

While I was still expecting and had the bun baking in the oven, I used to ask my already-mommy friends what it really felt like. Were the nine months easier than what followed? Their answer to the latter was always affirmative. Now I know why.

mommyhood (image source: www.herfamily.ie)

Most women mention how beautiful motherhood is. They will always paint a happy picture of a calm looking mother with a sweet, smiling baby quietly sitting in her lap but very few confess the reality. Very few will paint the real picture of a shabby looking mother with ruffled hair perfect for a bird to nest upon,  mostly in pyjamas or nighties, almost always bra-less feeling like a cow with a cranky, mostly crying baby mounted on her shoulder.

 I am NOT denying the fact that motherhood is the most beautiful feeling. It indeed is. It is overwhelming. When women say that it is motherhood that completes them, I raise my hand and nod my head up and down in acceptance. I TRULY felt the same when my little angel wiggled out from down under (SOME EXPERIENCE I TELL YOU!).  But very few women talk about the initial exhausting phase which ofcourse doesn’t last for too long (good news!).

So let me throw a little light on the crazy part (and I am just saying crazy, it is not really bad; it is just crazy) which no one tells you about leaving the beautiful part for the end. After all who doesn’t like happy endings?

You will start feeling highly of the cows, atleast I did! I mean you are just feeding one baby. Poor cows are feeding this entire world! Initially when the whole feeding experience was new to me I felt no less than a cow and I felt a new found respect for these milking creatures (gaay sach mein humari mata hai!)

true story! (image source: http://theleakyboob.com/)

Your body goes through a lot of change, both hormonal and physical. This change leaves the mother enervated and tired feeling weak. Gather all the help you can. Call your mom over if you can for she is the only one who will go the extra mile for your comfort.

You and your husband will suddenly feel like strangers.  I think it is because the baby feels secure only with the mother and initially the husband feels helpless and because he is helpless and cannot do much the wife starts feeling he does not care. Also, there are a lot of disagreements not realizing that both, the mother and the father want the same outcome; the best for their child. It starts getting better as months pass by.  But all that chemistry that went into creating your little one takes some time to come back. Till then smile reminiscing the history!

helpless fathers! (image source: www.babble.com)

All you ever wait for is a BURP! Yes a burp becomes an essential and VERY important. I still remember how disgusted I felt everytime my husband burped to tease me. But my baby’s burp is music to my ears.

(image source: www.andertoons.com)

You get so used to the wailing that even when the baby is fast asleep your ears are ringing. I still cannot complete my bath without checking on her once.

The consistency and the colour of the poop will be hot topics. One day the baby doesn’t poop and you will fret and hope that she does it surely the next day, even though it is absolutely normal to not poop for three consecutive days.

(image source: http://www.kchronicles.com/comic/baby-poo/)

Dressing up feels like a pipedream to you. You forget when you last pampered yourself or even wore a bright lipstick for that matter. Salon musts like waxing and bleaching are put on hold. All you want to do with your spare time is SLEEP! So if you do not wish to end up looking like a bear invest in a trimmer. After 3 months you can call a lady home and get things done between feeding and sleeping breaks. A luxurious visit to the salon is still a fantasy to me.

The craziest part is the advice motherhood brings along with it. It is never ending. And if you do not agree to what is suggested you are in for some faces and a lot of judgement.  Even the maalishwali and the maids will enlighten you with all their gya an.  P
oor new mothers! i will not deny that some suggestions ARE useful , however most stand obsolete today. The mother always ends up offending someone or the other unintentionally. I am sure every new mother of this generation has faced this madness but ladies my baby’s doctor says “you are the mother and you know the best. Be confident enough to refuse what you feel is not right for your child”. Listen to all the suggestions but do what you feel is the best. Be patient and be strong. Follow your instinct.

While that was the insane stuff about motherhood (I hope I did not scare the pregnant ladies or the married ones…LOL) let me now take you to a better the best place.

The moment you see your child labour pain becomes a distant memory.  You wonder how you created such a beautiful living being. You smile and cry at the same time. And this is just the beginning!

You don’t just feel complete as a woman but you and your husband together also feel complete as a family. The way your husband looks at your baby makes you fall for him all over again. Contradictory to what I said earlier right? But motherhood is full of contradictions.

Motherhood brings a bizarre sense of satisfaction with it.

After this moment, every smile, every touch of your baby fills your heart with so much joy that words fall short.

The way your baby clings onto you makes you feel loved and wanted like no one else has ever made you feel. I call it the monkey feeling (LOL). Haven’t you seen monkey mothers and their babies clinging onto them when you visit the hill stations of the north? I picked the name of the feeling from there.

 The way your baby looks into your eyes leaves you awestruck. Your baby strengthens you as an individual, as a family yet you get weak when the baby is about to get a blood test. (contradictions!)

Your child becomes your best company. You will not mind your husband coming home late because the baby keeps you busy.

Babbling becomes the new lingo in the house and everytime your baby does an ‘aaa’ or a ‘boooo’ you will feel so excited. I am waiting for the day she calls me “MAA”.

It has just been a little over three months. I am so looking forward to the fun and exciting times ahead with my little girl.

To cut it all short, postpartum madness is big but the joy that your child brings to your life is incomparable.

I just realized that this post has got REALLY long.  I have just been going on and on sharing how mommyhood feels. Please don’t mind if the post has no proper structure. I told you earlier that I’ll wander.

I will continue to share my stories of mommyhood every now and then. Hope this one makes you giggle and smile.

P.S.: if you are a mommy-to-be and have the silliest of questions giving you a headache, let me know…I have answers to most of them :p.

Random Rumble

In the midst of ash....

Among the little goblins....

Deafened by the nipping silence of darkness....

I flounder my way to fluorescence....

A staggering me gropes for a brush of hope....

Wanting to be blinded by the light....

The light of a new life....

Playing with the cherubs....

I sense a graze on the tip of my finger....

And just like that, unknowingly, it curls into this hand....

The hand with new promises....

Weeding me out of the heather....

Ushering me to a new place....

A place called LOVE....

Introducing Mrs. and Mr.

A BIG Hello to all the lovely people reading this post right now. 

Before going any further let‘s take a moment to pray for the people in Nepal.

So, busy April has bid me goodbye and the lighter on the calendar but warmer May has come to say Hi. Like I mentioned in my last post that April would keep me on my toes and so it did. It was a wedding marathon starting with my sis-in-law’s engagement followed by my sister’s wedding. I managed to reach the finishing line by being just as energetic for the final wedding (a friend’s) as for the previous two (even though the first event was technically an engagement but still since it was no less than a wedding event, it has been counted in ).

The weddings were a lot of fun. Today this post will be less about words and more about pictures. 

To the Readers

So, I had absolutely no plans to write this post today for several reasons. Firstly my dearest darling sister is getting married this month. Secondly, my sister like sis-in-law who is no less than a friend has got fixed. As if my duties as badi didi (elder sister) and bhabi (sister-in-law) were any less that Almighty scheduled one of our closest friends wedding also this month. 

If I mark the days on the calendar this month for the events I have to help organise let alone attend and host, my April 2015 is nothing but circles. While there is too much of hitched happiness in the air (touchwood) I would not deny the fact that it is keeping me on my toes, literally (read: shopping and staying fit), which points out to the reason I have been away for almost a month. I would have still kept myself from writing this post today, but in the last few days I noticed a hike in the number of likes “My little Diary” has fetched on Facebook. 

I will not lie when I say that I am surprised to see the growing likes for the page. “My little Diary” had started with a humble 100-110 likes that too from people who already knew me. But in the last few months the page has been receiving likes from people from various places, who I have never met and the response has been nothing but overwhelming. 

Home Sweet Home

This is not a story. These are random thoughts that make me look up, that make me wonder, that make me smile and that make me a grateful person.

Have you ever taken notice of your expressions when you see your serene room in that beautiful boutique hotel? You are in awe. But have you also noticed that the sigh of relief only comes once you are on your own bed in a place called home sweet home. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, doesn’t matter how cluttered or organised it is. The feeling to be home is so familiar and so positive that no one sings us a lullaby and yet we sleep like babies. It is the feeling of belonging.

FORGIVE

IMAGE SOURCE: GOOGLE

I am feeling quite content and philosophical today. I am not scaring you about the length of this write up. On the contrary I feel it is going to be relatively short but insightful. 

Plight of a Crumbled Heart

Some promises broken

Some empty tokens

Some diaries burnt

Some lessons learnt……

INKED!!!

Now, let me confess that I am a hopeless romantic.  I am also one of those girls who spare a certain things not because they were or in some places still are considered taboo but only because they want to wait and do them with the right person. Don’t get the dirty mind horses racing and give the kinky nuances some rest. I am talking about tattoo art. 

THE INFAMOUS MARRIAGE

Have you ever wondered?

Why are men so scared of marriage?

Why modern independent women fret about  union so much?

Why a married woman tells everyone that the courtship period was the best?

Why divorce rates are rising alarmingly?

Is marriage really that dreadful and gory?

Or is it just the fear of spending the rest of your life with that one person; sleeping besides him every night and waking up to him next to you every morning?

Is it the fear of sheer monotony?

I know I have probably asked you too many questions at once but think about it seriously. Why is the topic of matrimony so infamous amidst the youth these days?

Even a relationship, the so called “girlfriend-boyfriend” THING gets monotonous after six months. The couple fights even when they are dating and breaks up when it gets too much. Is breaking up the solution?

You will probably be with another person, get bored, fight and break up again. It will only be a series of break ups before you end up being lonely and alone.

Is the ease that one has in breaking up a relationship the reason why marriage is not preferred? Because  DIVORCE somehow sounds more serious than a break up?

But then if that is the case why is the number of divorces hitting a soaring high?

Even though we all love the glorious “being-single” days we cannot be alone forever. We all need some stability in life. We all need someone to share our lives with. We all need to get married someday. I call it companionship. 

I have been married for a year and a half and known my husband for a little over two years now. Courtship was not really the best time of my life like every married woman promises. 

I mean it was nice. It felt like going out for weekly dates. There were these little gestures that told me he cares. But it was nothing extraordinary. Infact I feel things got more special after we got married. 

Generally, a guy woos a girl insanely while they are in their courtship. The girl will be dressed to kill just for the boy.  But once they get married they get so comfortable that they stop wooing each other.

This is where the couples make a mistake and the monotony sinks in.

The couple stops dating.

Either one of the two people in any marriage begins to sway when boredom starts seeping in. Then he/she requires a new source of entertainment, be it insane drinking with his/her yet to be married guy or girl friends or getting involved in an extra marital affair.

But why reach that stage, I ask. I know every relationship hits its emotionally low point and that is absolutely fine but it does not mean that you simply choose to take an exit.

Why not keep marriage exciting always. Why not put in the same effort that you had put in when you tried to get the very same girl you are married to today?

Husbands and wives do not need expensive gestures all the time. Little ones every now and then keep the relationship alive. So do not give up on each other.

Giving a few examples from what my husband and I do, just take a cue at the nature of little but cute gestures.

•   My husband has a meeting; he spots a Starbucks outlet opposite the place and buys my favourite “lemon loaf cake”. Cost = 125 INR.
•   I know he has had a long tiring day; there is some chicken already in the freezer. I cook him a   chicken curry he absolutely loves. Cost = FREE!
•   I make him origami pigeons with YOU and ME written on their wings. Cost = FREE!

  

  Made him these love birds :)

•   I write him silly poems. Cost = PRICELESS
•  He thanks me posting that poem on facebook (*eyes rolling* BUT *blush* AND *coy smile*). Cost = PRICELESS! 

  

  my poem posted on fb

Now these few examples that I shared would sound really stupid to some and some might go “AWWW” (I belong to the latter category :p).

I know every individual is different, but the point is that one MUST express. And I literally mean EXPRESS. Just because you know in your heart that you love her does not mean that she would not mind those three words coming out from your lips. 

Lets be honest, his parents will go someday and yours also will. Your kids will grow up and have their own lives. The only one you will have next to you ALL the time will be your spouse. So celebrate each other. Do not forget each other while fulfilling life's obligations.

Keep dating. Boy you continue to put in some effort to keep her interested and girl, you better keep yourself prim and proper for him and for yourself ofcourse! You two are probably too busy with your social circles, but do go out for a date once in a while and I DO NOT mean a double date but just the two of you.

Before I got married my mom and I used to go out for coffee. Alright we could have made coffee at home also, then why go out? I realised it is because when you are at home you are doing your own separate things. But going to a different place with a different ambience gives you a chance to talk, to catch up even being in the same house. We always ended up talking about things we had never thought we would talk about (Mom, I miss our coffee dates :( ).

I apply the same philosophy to marriage. The couple has to get out for these, lunch, dinner, movie and coffee dates to keep discovering new things about each other. If you have got kids leave them with the grandparents for a day, believe me they will love it too! (I say so, because my parents did so off and on. They were happy. We were happy.)

One has to understand that as a relationship grows older the two individuals also evolve and so there are new things to learn about each other. There is much more to explore as you grow older together.

And then they disparage marriage calling it monotonous! HUH!!

Marriage is a job you have to go to for the rest of your life. And yes you have to work at it! Give it your best shot. Don’t you work your a** off to get that measly raise? Then why a little effort in this job hurt so much.

Marriage is a life long journey. So always keep the vehicle’s tank called love full. If that empty sign starts blinking, do not stop the car and take a cab. It is just a signal telling you to get the fuel.

Falling in love is easy. Falling out of it is even easier. But falling in love over and over again with the very same person is the real task.

I do not hold a Masters degree in “Marriage” but being with my crazy yet adorable husband for two years now I have understood a few fundamentals of this appalling subject.

Respect your spouse. Love him/her. Make him/her your priority. And everything else in life will just fall in place.

If you are one of those couples, where the empty tank is giving a glowing signal, it is not too late. Go hug your partner tonight and tell her how much you love her.

P.S.: Dear Husband, I Love You. Now and Forever.

Khushi's creative gesture

It is beautiful how sometimes little gestures make your day special and unique; little gestures that emanate from unconditional pure child like love. 

I had really not planned to write a post today till I met Khushi, my husband’s eleven year old cousin and my youngest sis-in-law. 

the eventful january

I must say, January has been quite eventful. The New Year spirit is still sinking in when Lohri comes knocking at your door (the 13^th of January). It brings with it the playfulness of popcorn, the sweetness of jaggery, the nuttiness of peanuts and the warmth of til (sesame).

I was still feeling guilty about gorging insanely on all the Lohri sweets, when we had to attend a Sai Sandhya hosted by a close relative to mark the beginning of the wedding of their son (the 17^th of January). Once the evening came to an end we started preparing ourselves for the crazy season of north Indian peak-winter weddings awaiting us.

EX not AXis

image source:google

Just the other day I was sitting with a friend who has been going through a low phase in life (read: single yet complicated in the head, slow economy hitting the business and the list goes on). I told him how we are all facing some or the other crisis on the personal front and that everyone is feeling the economy’s heavy strong firm fist in the stomachs of their business. He was no exception. The good times will come. However it was his relationship woe that stayed back with me through the night and turned into the seed this post has emanated from.

Serendipity

image source:google

Serendipity…..

Is getting that unexpected happy drive by fate

On a balmy winter morning

When a meeting for some odd reason gets late

And on the radio you hear Bob Marley singing