Hello Mommyhood!

Hi

So like I start most of my posts that come at erratic intervals (SORRY!!!), I start this one too by apologizing for being away for more than three months now (EEEE!!! THREE!!).  I mentioned in my last post (navratan korma;my style) that SOMEONE life changing took place; well that someone is my little daughter who will be turning 4 months towards the end of this month (PHEW! TIME FLIES). Please do not mind my monologue in the brackets.

It is said that life turns upside down once you have a baby and I will say NOW I cannot agree more.  I am writing this as she sleeps peacefully (which is RARE!), and as I am typing these words I am not really sure, rather absolutely clueless where to begin this experience of mommyhood from. Please bear with me if I wander a bit here and there.

While I was still expecting and had the bun baking in the oven, I used to ask my already-mommy friends what it really felt like. Were the nine months easier than what followed? Their answer to the latter was always affirmative. Now I know why.

mommyhood (image source: www.herfamily.ie)

Most women mention how beautiful motherhood is. They will always paint a happy picture of a calm looking mother with a sweet, smiling baby quietly sitting in her lap but very few confess the reality. Very few will paint the real picture of a shabby looking mother with ruffled hair perfect for a bird to nest upon,  mostly in pyjamas or nighties, almost always bra-less feeling like a cow with a cranky, mostly crying baby mounted on her shoulder.

 I am NOT denying the fact that motherhood is the most beautiful feeling. It indeed is. It is overwhelming. When women say that it is motherhood that completes them, I raise my hand and nod my head up and down in acceptance. I TRULY felt the same when my little angel wiggled out from down under (SOME EXPERIENCE I TELL YOU!).  But very few women talk about the initial exhausting phase which ofcourse doesn’t last for too long (good news!).

So let me throw a little light on the crazy part (and I am just saying crazy, it is not really bad; it is just crazy) which no one tells you about leaving the beautiful part for the end. After all who doesn’t like happy endings?

You will start feeling highly of the cows, atleast I did! I mean you are just feeding one baby. Poor cows are feeding this entire world! Initially when the whole feeding experience was new to me I felt no less than a cow and I felt a new found respect for these milking creatures (gaay sach mein humari mata hai!)

true story! (image source: http://theleakyboob.com/)

Your body goes through a lot of change, both hormonal and physical. This change leaves the mother enervated and tired feeling weak. Gather all the help you can. Call your mom over if you can for she is the only one who will go the extra mile for your comfort.

You and your husband will suddenly feel like strangers.  I think it is because the baby feels secure only with the mother and initially the husband feels helpless and because he is helpless and cannot do much the wife starts feeling he does not care. Also, there are a lot of disagreements not realizing that both, the mother and the father want the same outcome; the best for their child. It starts getting better as months pass by.  But all that chemistry that went into creating your little one takes some time to come back. Till then smile reminiscing the history!

helpless fathers! (image source: www.babble.com)

All you ever wait for is a BURP! Yes a burp becomes an essential and VERY important. I still remember how disgusted I felt everytime my husband burped to tease me. But my baby’s burp is music to my ears.

(image source: www.andertoons.com)

You get so used to the wailing that even when the baby is fast asleep your ears are ringing. I still cannot complete my bath without checking on her once.

The consistency and the colour of the poop will be hot topics. One day the baby doesn’t poop and you will fret and hope that she does it surely the next day, even though it is absolutely normal to not poop for three consecutive days.

(image source: http://www.kchronicles.com/comic/baby-poo/)

Dressing up feels like a pipedream to you. You forget when you last pampered yourself or even wore a bright lipstick for that matter. Salon musts like waxing and bleaching are put on hold. All you want to do with your spare time is SLEEP! So if you do not wish to end up looking like a bear invest in a trimmer. After 3 months you can call a lady home and get things done between feeding and sleeping breaks. A luxurious visit to the salon is still a fantasy to me.

The craziest part is the advice motherhood brings along with it. It is never ending. And if you do not agree to what is suggested you are in for some faces and a lot of judgement.  Even the maalishwali and the maids will enlighten you with all their gya an.  P
oor new mothers! i will not deny that some suggestions ARE useful , however most stand obsolete today. The mother always ends up offending someone or the other unintentionally. I am sure every new mother of this generation has faced this madness but ladies my baby’s doctor says “you are the mother and you know the best. Be confident enough to refuse what you feel is not right for your child”. Listen to all the suggestions but do what you feel is the best. Be patient and be strong. Follow your instinct.

While that was the insane stuff about motherhood (I hope I did not scare the pregnant ladies or the married ones…LOL) let me now take you to a better the best place.

The moment you see your child labour pain becomes a distant memory.  You wonder how you created such a beautiful living being. You smile and cry at the same time. And this is just the beginning!

You don’t just feel complete as a woman but you and your husband together also feel complete as a family. The way your husband looks at your baby makes you fall for him all over again. Contradictory to what I said earlier right? But motherhood is full of contradictions.

Motherhood brings a bizarre sense of satisfaction with it.

After this moment, every smile, every touch of your baby fills your heart with so much joy that words fall short.

The way your baby clings onto you makes you feel loved and wanted like no one else has ever made you feel. I call it the monkey feeling (LOL). Haven’t you seen monkey mothers and their babies clinging onto them when you visit the hill stations of the north? I picked the name of the feeling from there.

 The way your baby looks into your eyes leaves you awestruck. Your baby strengthens you as an individual, as a family yet you get weak when the baby is about to get a blood test. (contradictions!)

Your child becomes your best company. You will not mind your husband coming home late because the baby keeps you busy.

Babbling becomes the new lingo in the house and everytime your baby does an ‘aaa’ or a ‘boooo’ you will feel so excited. I am waiting for the day she calls me “MAA”.

It has just been a little over three months. I am so looking forward to the fun and exciting times ahead with my little girl.

To cut it all short, postpartum madness is big but the joy that your child brings to your life is incomparable.

I just realized that this post has got REALLY long.  I have just been going on and on sharing how mommyhood feels. Please don’t mind if the post has no proper structure. I told you earlier that I’ll wander.

I will continue to share my stories of mommyhood every now and then. Hope this one makes you giggle and smile.

P.S.: if you are a mommy-to-be and have the silliest of questions giving you a headache, let me know…I have answers to most of them :p.