Thursday, December 12, 2013

EX not AXis

image source:google
Just the other day I was sitting with a friend who has been going through a low phase in life (read: single yet complicated in the head, slow economy hitting the business and the list goes on). I told him how we are all facing some or the other crisis on the personal front and that everyone is feeling the economy’s heavy strong firm fist in the stomachs of their business. He was no exception. The good times will come. However it was his relationship woe that stayed back with me through the night and turned into the seed this post has emanated from.

In the following part of this post you will often notice me referring to the relationship as a dish, so do not get confused.

These days most of us have tasted the sweetness of a relationship. While some of us are lucky to savour this dish forever (read: a happy ending; marrying your girlfriend/boyfriend), the majority gets tired and bored of the same taste and blames it for leaving a bad after taste, which means the relationship gets complicated, the number of fights shoot up and soon the ways of the two people sharing the dish are parted. There are times when the others on the table do not like the taste of the present dish anymore and want something better and more delectable to suit everyone on the table OR feel that the present dish can cause you an upset stomach and hence one is forced to taste another dish (read: family pressure, peer pressure).

Every person validates his/her own reason. The reasons are sometimes forced, often stupid and unreasonable and at the other times they are simply genuine and coldly pragmatic.

Now, that the dish is gone, how is one supposed to react?

All of us have our own unique way to get over the bad after taste; being in the state of sheer melancholy, crying under the blanket or in the shower, listening to the most depressing songs, indulging in the shopping therapy.  Some get abusive just to let the frustration out (recall the “flushing the gf’s picture” scene from the movie “jab we met”), some yell and then there are the ones who drink like a fish making one wish: to turn back the time. Some sulk for a few days and move on while others get stuck in that grey phase of whining over the gone dish for a never ending period. I can go on incessantly if it comes to making a list.

Looking at the broken hearts around me I wonder “is any person worth all those tears and pain?”. We see the extremists making news every other day, where a lover hangs himself or kills his partner for not loving him back. Is that what a person gets into a relationship for in the first place? It is absolutely preposterous.

A person is generally in a relationship to be happy. Fights are obvious because no two individuals are exactly the same and all relationships hit their rock bottom. That is part and parcel of the package. But then ideally one should rise above these realizing a stronger bond with his/her partner and feeling loved. And, if one is unable to do so for whatever reason, then grumble and whimper. I say DO that for a while but then MOVE ON.

I do not ask you to erase a person from your brain. It is impossible to do that. Afterall you would have had some special memories with that person. You are reminded of him/her every now and then when you listen to a song he/she loved or see a cap or a nail lacquer of some specific colour that he/she liked. But that does not mean you let those memories goof up your present.

Life is not about looking back but moving forward. Everything happens in life for a reason. I know most of the times we do not know what the reason is. We feel that the saying is an utter baloney. But folks the truth is that we do not realize that reason in the short term. It is in the long term that we understand that whatever  happened in the past was not for good but for the best and has brought us in a much better place today. Look at my lucky husband, he landed up with a girl like me (he will probably kill me after reading this line…but I am just telling the truth..giggling :p).

All of us are meant to be with someone. It might turn out to be our childhood love or a colleague after a couple of failed relationships. But just because one relationship fails does not mean that the next one will too.

If you love someone do not give up on that person but if the other person is not reciprocating do not waste your time wailing over what you cannot get. It is not the end of the world. Have no regrets. Every tattered relationship leaves you teaching a lesson, making you a wiser man/woman.

I had once read the following line in a book and it somehow stayed with me.

“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted”

Just because a dish was not good at this one sad restaurant does not mean that it will taste awful at other places too. The new dish is ordered to experience a better meal.

Take your own time to get back on the axis of normalcy but do not take forever :)

P.S.: I am singing out loud “don’t you worry don’t you worry child, see heaven’s got a plan for you” and the plan will undoubtedly be better than you can imagine :D (big smile).


  1. precious and wise words... thanks for sharing :)

  2. thank you...i just hope that the post is useful for the readers :)

  3. With each blog..... gravity in content is considerably rising. : )

  4. very true...full of optimism ..