Wednesday, October 30, 2013

happy realisation

I was about to turn 24 when my parents started looking for an eligible match for me. Like every single girl I was enjoying a carefree life and was reluctant to give in to the idea of marriage; however I said yes thinking that it will take at least one year to find the right match for me (you know how these things take time). Little did I know that when things are meant to happen they can happen in less than a month’s time.

My parents introduced me to my husband in the latter half of February 2012. At first, we both thought that we weren’t suitable for each other. Our first impressions were :

Me (to myself) : Why has he dressed so casually? He has come to see a girl for heaven's sake!
My husband (to himself): Why has she dressed like a Christmas tree?

He was too casual and I was dressed as if I was going to a wedding (courtesy: my mom). He misinterpreted my statements and I was just left amused by his randomness. He was random to the extent that he made me write on a slip, the time we both needed to give each other a thought (*eyes rolling*). You would laugh knowing our answers, I said another 3 meetings (keeping in mind that it was an arranged affair) and he came up with 30 days!

Since our families liked each other, we met the second time. It was a date arranged by our parents which went alright. After spending two hours over coffee we came to the realisation that both of us fulfilled the list of basic qualities one looks for in a spouse (read: belief in being loyal, respectful to elders, decent personality, good communication and interpersonal skills and so on). We were still not sure if we will ever be able to fall in love with each other. We both had a different approach to life and we came with our respective baggage. Nevertheless, after the second meeting, we felt more than mere acquaintances.

The third meeting was expected to come to an end with a final answer from both the sides. My husband and I had got into a heated argument during that meeting. Just because I had held my head strong and could argue with my husband like an equal, he gave me a green flag. After a little post argument soft talk I realised that he is mature enough to understand and handle relationships and so I too gave him a green signal. 

booked: a click from our engagement ceremony (24th april 2012)
That is how two completely opposite individuals got fixed in matrimony. We had an eight months long courtship. And unlike people in love who spend hours over the phone, we used to talk for just half an hour (sometimes not even that long) the entire day. Being an ultimate romantic at heart I used to wonder if I had chosen the wrong person (I am sure my husband had felt the same), for my husband lacked (and still does :p) when it came to being expressive. I, on the contrary, never fell short in the expression department.

courtship days

Eight months flew meeting and greeting each other once every week. We obviously achieved a comfort level. We felt more than friends and cherished the special bond that we had formed during the courtship.  Was it love? We didn’t know it yet. Then, came the D-Day.

miss to mrs. on 25th november 2012
November 25th   2012, we took vows to be there for each other for the rest of our lives. After we got married I realised that talking to a person and meeting him/her off and on for dates was completely different from living together. Every day was (is) a new day for us. There was so much to discover about each other. Even after almost a year we are still exploring new things about each other; new habits (some adorable and some annoying).

Till I got married, I used to dread the concept of arranged marriages. Two complete strangers coming together, meeting a couple of times and taking a big step like MARRIAGE! I mean how can one decide in two to three cups of coffee that THIS is the person I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

I used to wonder; doesn’t love has to come first? Or for that matter just marrying someone you have known for a few years, after all a known devil is better than an unknown one, right?

Logically and chronologically one is hooked and then booked. In our case, we were booked first and were still waiting to get hooked onto each other.

The truth is that love takes its own course in every relationship. And it is realised slowly and steadily.

“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked”- Erich Segal

A few days back one of my husband’s friends got engaged. We were attending his ceremony, and I had flashbacks of my own engagement. I could relate to the tears in the girl’s and her mother’s eyes; their escalated heartbeats. And then the moment came when the boy and girl exchanged rings. The guests clapped, friends whistled and everyone looked extremely happy.

My husband who was standing right in the front and who otherwise does not express much, his eyes went everywhere looking for something. I was standing right at the back, my hands clasped together, close to my heart, with my mind walking down the memory lane. His eyes met mine. He smiled. He found what he was looking for. He surreptitiously stretched his hand out for me so that no one else could notice. With a little nod he asked me to stand next to him. My smile became the biggest. I quickly tip toed to him and gave my hand in his. He held my hand and brought me closer by sliding his arm around my shoulder. With our hands strongly clenched, that day, in the middle of a ceremony we realised how much we love each other. We had finally discovered our day of love. 
my happy high husband and i dancing at our friend's engagement ceremony
How it happened? When exactly did it happen?  We really don’t know. That night at the ceremony we just realised that we are truly in love with each other.

And now I wish to get the platinum love bands for the two of us. The purity of platinum makes it the perfect metal to make a band that is worn to symbolise true eternal love. The non-fading and non-corroding properties of the metal makes it the obvious choice to make a piece of art that depicts never dying and ever growing love.  Just like our bond, the metal only gets stronger.

 P.S.: From strangers to acquaintances to friends to lovers to soul mates; our journey, our love story, has just begun.

To get your partner a platinum love band visit


  1. Lovely Ankiiii.... Now u r acquiring substance in your texts...

    Keep Walking : )

  2. thank you aditi...i went through your post too and i must say it is some story...well done...and all the best!

  3. My parents are planning to start looking for a guy for me next year. And I could just wish my story is as happy a realization as yours :)

    Happy Married Life :)

    1. thank you so much sharu :), sorry for the delayed reply, was out of town. and do not worry, our parents know us better than we know ourselves, you'll surely find THE ONE :), till then enjoy the singlehood xx

  4. happy to know how happy nd satisfied you are.

  5. Quite adorable and very touching. The fact that you were content to stand in the back and just be...that says a lot. You werent pining away,wishing he would have you by his side. You were just 'being'...just enjoying, and love came to you.

    As an American, it is quite refreshing and very interesting to hear these stories of arranged marriages. Many youngsters here would love if their parents would match them up too...but the parents doing that here, is very rare indeed.

  6. Also, it helps so much when the boy and girl's parents like each other and are supporting and encouraging the match. Love the pic of you two dancing at the engagment party.....very very beautiful couple.

    1. thank you so much. My dear husband dances very rarely but when he is i am so glad because i love crazy dancing.

      The trend in India is also changing.

      Arranged marriages are less common now. Since indiviuals are independent and well educated they prefer choosing their life partners on their own which is fair on their part. Their choice is then approved by the parents. So it becomes more of a love cum arranged affair.

      Most people now resort to arranged marriages only if they are still single and nobody at their workplace or in their social circle seem to interest them or they are too busy to find someone for themselves. Then they leave it to the worried parents lol.

      but yes the parents and the families getting along well is always a plus point.

      my husband too wanted to enjoy a few more days of singledom. ask him now how lucky he feels hahaha

      But on a serious note, love cannot be forced. It takes its own time. And its best to let it grow on its own. You just have to nurture the relationship with yourself and your partner and love will bloom without a doubt. :)